To See Clearly

To see clearly. Photo by Bud Helisson
To see clearly. Photo by Bud Helisson

Erwin caught me watching a particular interest which might need some formal studying. Concerned, he carefully but frankly asked this:

Would you work on a job that might get you feeling bored later and pay less at the same time? Or would you rather work on a job which may be difficult but will pay you higher, twice than what you might earn on the latter?

I understand what Erwin is trying to get at. I feel his concern and I know that he can act like a smart-ass at times. Having been with him for almost 11 years in marriage, he knows me like the back of his hand. Conclusively, he knows how I can get easily bored! He continued:

The reason why you left your previous career was that you were bored.

He’s right on this, but that career was just my pastime career. It left me feeling unchallenged answering calls which seemed scripted and never took me out of my little box. So, web development was the passion I quenched later on and sought for hungrily due to its intensive problem-solving inherent quality. After five years down the road, I felt bored…

After five years from the time I felt bored, I began missing it. At the same time, that year when I began feeling bored, I had a vision. And these videos and reading materials I am kinda’ immersing myself nowadays have something to do with that vision, or maybe a calling…

It’s like meeting myself on two diverging roads. Should I take the usual route with an upgrade or the opposite route which might help me become what I envisioned myself to be 10 to 15 years from today?

Do I really need a high paying job when Erwin is there to meet our finances? What’s the point of earning twice than what I could earn with this new career if it’s able to satisfy my vision? Will challenges and defeat halt me to continue propelling with this vision?

PRAYER

O, Lord, You have searched me and you’ve known me. You know when I rise and when I lie down. You know my inmost being. You know me from the moment you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. Your thoughts and visions about your children are wonderful. I know this very well.

During this moment of contemplation and confrontation between two diverging roads, I only seek your wisdom and guidance to help me conclude which road is better for me and our family. Thank you for the wisdom you give generously and I hungrily seek your direction.

You have abated the number of years human beings have lived their lives. From almost a millennium down to almost a century, you only urge us to become wiser by your grace through faith with such a few years remaining for us. I only have less than 50% of my life to live… Each year counts. Am I heading toward your direction and satisfaction? For I am but only dust. My days are few and brief, like grass. Surely, I only need you to be in the driver seat. I will forever quench for your wisdom.

BIBLE VERSE

For he knows we are but dust and that our days are few and brief, like grass, like flowers, blown by the wind and gone forever. (Psalm 103:14-16, TLB)